“Who does God hold responsible for the spiritual instruction of children?”
That has become one of the most neglected questions in Christianity today. At Gospel Life, we believe that the Bible has much to say about how children should be brought up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4)—not simply that the Bible affirms child discipleship as a goal, but that it also gives details on how this ought to be pursued.
If one reads the Bible carefully, it becomes clear that God’s commands about the spiritual instruction of children are almost entirely directed toward parents. In other words, according to Scripture, parents are God’s primary appointed “children’s ministers.” In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Moses announced to the people of Israel, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Proverbs opens with Solomon saying in 1:8, “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching.” Paul writes in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These are only a handful of the passages that command child discipleship, and, in every case, the command is addressed to parents.
We at Gospel Life believe and affirm that God has created the church and the family, each with their own jurisdictions of responsibility. The responsibility to disciple children falls under the jurisdiction of the parents, especially fathers. Christ has given His church the responsibility and privilege of supporting, encouraging, and equipping parents to disciple their children. This includes calling to repentance those who neglect or reject their parental responsibility. In this way, these two institutions are distinct, yet complementary. Too often today, children / youth ministries permit parents to abdicate their duties, allow church leaders to usurp the role of parents, disunify the church by reinforcing generational divides, and stunt the spiritual growth of young believers by relegating them to time spent only with peers, rather than with more mature church members as well.
There are many ways that these convictions affect how we “do church” here.
If one reads the Bible carefully, it becomes clear that God’s commands about the spiritual instruction of children are almost entirely directed toward parents. In other words, according to Scripture, parents are God’s primary appointed “children’s ministers.” In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Moses announced to the people of Israel, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Proverbs opens with Solomon saying in 1:8, “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching.” Paul writes in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” These are only a handful of the passages that command child discipleship, and, in every case, the command is addressed to parents.
We at Gospel Life believe and affirm that God has created the church and the family, each with their own jurisdictions of responsibility. The responsibility to disciple children falls under the jurisdiction of the parents, especially fathers. Christ has given His church the responsibility and privilege of supporting, encouraging, and equipping parents to disciple their children. This includes calling to repentance those who neglect or reject their parental responsibility. In this way, these two institutions are distinct, yet complementary. Too often today, children / youth ministries permit parents to abdicate their duties, allow church leaders to usurp the role of parents, disunify the church by reinforcing generational divides, and stunt the spiritual growth of young believers by relegating them to time spent only with peers, rather than with more mature church members as well.
There are many ways that these convictions affect how we “do church” here.
Children Involved in Gathering
First, we want you to be aware that we do not have any kind of “Children’s Church.” We believe the best way children learn to attend church is for them to attend church. Scripture shows examples of congregations gathered for worship with the children included—even those too young to understand. For instance, Joel 2:16 says, “…gather the people. Consecrate the congregation; assemble the elders; gather the children, even nursing infants.” We understand that this creates challenges and, at times, distractions during worship; In short, we believe our children are worth it. As a church that believes in all-ages worship, we expect these disruptions. We encourage parents to lovingly correct their children when this occurs (temporarily removing from the service if necessary), and we encourage members without children to look for opportunities to help (and affirm) parents. As Jesus said, “Let the little children come …” (Matt 19:14).
Parental Involvement
Secondly, we strongly encourage parents to be involved in what their children are learning at Gospel Life. For example, on the ride home after church, ask your children what they learned from the sermon and in Kid’s Life class. For parents of young adults, we encourage you to attend our youth group with your teenagers. This has several benefits:
- it gives our youth greater exposure to mature believers,
- it provides you opportunity to oversee what the church is teaching your children and to hold its leaders accountable for sound doctrine, and
- it enables you to take what your child is learning and reinforce it at home.
Equipping Parents
Third, we want to equip parents to disciple their children at home through times of family worship. “Family worship” is an ancient Christian practice in which parents—and primarily the father—would lead the family in short times of daily prayer, Bible, and singing. Regular family worship not only teaches children to love the things of God, but also promotes family unity, reinforces the father’s role as spiritual head of the home, gives opportunity to discuss what you’ve learned from church, and provides practice for little ones as they learn to sit still during worship.
To those who are unfamiliar with this approach to child discipleship, it can all seem overwhelming. That’s why we encourage you to reach out to our leadership to ask any questions you have, and why we’ve compiled the resources below. We assure you that this need not be exhausting, complicated, or overwhelming. It is an ancient and time-tested way to enjoy one of the greatest pleasures in Christian parenting.
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
3 John 1:4
"Why parenting in the pew?"
Here at Gospel Life Baptist Church, we intentionally invite children to participate in our Sunday morning service. It trains our children to do the most important thing they are called to do – to worship God!
It teaches our children discipline. Sitting still and listening attentively for over an hour is a discipline! It allows our children to soak in the truths of God’s word. We believe that children are capable of understanding more than we give them credit for. It gives children the opportunity to learn from example as they watch our church body worshipping God together. It gives our children a sense of awe of God.
It teaches our children discipline. Sitting still and listening attentively for over an hour is a discipline! It allows our children to soak in the truths of God’s word. We believe that children are capable of understanding more than we give them credit for. It gives children the opportunity to learn from example as they watch our church body worshipping God together. It gives our children a sense of awe of God.
"How do I practically begin to do this?"
If you are new to parenting in the pew, the thought of teaching your children to sit through the service may seem overwhelming. We understand that not all churches share our conviction in this area, so you may be new to it. It isn’t easy, but it is possible. And as we’ve noted above, it’s worth it! So how do we set our children up for success?
At Home
1. Have regular times of family worship. This will help your children get accustomed to coming to church to worship. Family worship is as easy as reading the Bible, singing a hymn, and praying about what you read in the Bible. Below are a list of songs we sing at GLBC to help familiarize your children with the music.
2. Read the sermon text with your children before Sunday. Use the weekly emails to know what text of Scripture will be preached each Sunday and prepare your family to hear God's Word.
3. Be prepared for Sunday! Sunday mornings should start Saturday night-lay out clothes, pack the children's bags, and set expectations for the next day.
4. Have a good breakfast. Don't come to church on an empty stomach!
2. Read the sermon text with your children before Sunday. Use the weekly emails to know what text of Scripture will be preached each Sunday and prepare your family to hear God's Word.
3. Be prepared for Sunday! Sunday mornings should start Saturday night-lay out clothes, pack the children's bags, and set expectations for the next day.
4. Have a good breakfast. Don't come to church on an empty stomach!
At Church
1. Use the restroom. Take a trip to the restroom before the service starts so you can prevent your children from squirming due to a full bladder or asking to use the restroom during the service.
2. Find a good seat. Depending on the age of your children, sit in a place you feel is appropriate for your children's age and conducive to the level of attention they need. The key is to teach your children to participate and engage rather than to distract them to keep them silent.
3. Model participation and engagement to your children. Your children will follow your lead. Sing loud, say "Amen!", and take notes. Let your children see what it looks like to be engaged in worship.
2. Find a good seat. Depending on the age of your children, sit in a place you feel is appropriate for your children's age and conducive to the level of attention they need. The key is to teach your children to participate and engage rather than to distract them to keep them silent.
3. Model participation and engagement to your children. Your children will follow your lead. Sing loud, say "Amen!", and take notes. Let your children see what it looks like to be engaged in worship.
After Church
1. Talk about the service with your children. Discuss the songs we sang, the people we prayed for, and the teaching from the sermon. Encourage your children to ask you questions about the service.
2. Pray for your children. Continue to pray that the Lord will work in the hearts of your children as they join you for the worship service each week.
2. Pray for your children. Continue to pray that the Lord will work in the hearts of your children as they join you for the worship service each week.